Courtesy Hartford Courant,
Josiah H. Brown
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not be republished or distributed without permission.
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Published: |
Tuesday, January 12, 1999 |
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STATEWIDE |
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A11 |
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OPINION |
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Section: |
EDITORIAL |
Source: |
JOSIAH
H. BROWN |
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REDEMPTION
FROM HIS SINS -- OR NOT On a recent bus ride from New York to
Hartford, I made a new friend. Let's call him Pedro. Sitting together, we struck up a
conversation that lasted the whole trip. He talked about his past as a
convicted drug dealer, and about his current hopes as a recovering heroin
addict. The depth of his transformation was
striking. Friendly, polite and astonishingly self-aware, he recounted -- and
lamented -- his youth. Not interested in school, he had
dropped out to enter the drug trade. Initially, he was not himself a regular
user. Instead, it was the money and the lure of peer pressure that led him to
drugs. He was successful, able to enjoy a relatively extravagant lifestyle, a
fancy car and so on. But gradually the narcotics that he was
selling began to exert their hold. He thought he could dabble in heroin. He
became addicted. Here, Pedro's introspection --
cultivated by intense sessions of Narcotics Anonymous -- was impressive. As
if repenting, he grimly elaborated on the sins that serviced big addiction:
lying, theft, violence. With profound regret, he recalled how
he had hurt other people in seeking to maintain his habit. He robbed members
of his family, hooked others on his poison and got caught up in gang wars. A member of the Los Solidos gang, he
tangled with the rival Latin Kings and participated in shootings that
threatened innocent bystanders. That memory, in particular, pains him. Prison, and especially Narcotics
Anonymous, chastened him. He was repeatedly behind bars, for 18 months at the
longest. But only in recent years, when sentencing became more severe, did
jail emerge as a strong deterrent. At the same time, he hit bottom with
heroin. After several lapses in rehab, he prevailed. He's now been clean for
more than two years. He cites dual reasons for his recovery,
God and NA, as he calls it. Though his mother is religious, Pedro had been
(obviously) a nonbeliever during his years of crime. But he's experienced a
spiritual awakening in which faith has played a critical part. Reinforcing this religious element is
the culture of self-examination, self-criticism and group expression
characteristic of NA and similar organizations. In Pedro's case, NA has
provided a vital system of support. He has friends who understand his problem
and mentors who can show him how to stay clean. It was moving to hear him speak with
gratitude about having a respectable job and about little things, such as
being able to share holidays with his family. During his years of involvement with
drugs, Pedro said,, he had tuned out those occasions in search of a quick
buck or a quick fix. Now, he readily accepts material deprivations -- like
the lack of a car -- and savors the psychological stability, the normality,
he has achieved. His aspirations, beyond simply
remaining free of drugs, include getting an education. Clearly smart, he will
soon complete his G.E.D. and wants to pursue college study. I encouraged him to consider becoming a
counselor; the New School's master's degree in substance-abuse counseling
appealed to him as a future possibility. Almost 30, he is eager to employ his
troubled past as a lesson for the next generation. Pedro's observations on public policy
-- especially drug policy -- are worth noting. While favoring
decriminalization of marijuana as well as a greater emphasis on prevention,
he adamantly opposes efforts to legalize cocaine, heroin and other hard
drugs. They're ``too dangerous and
addictive,'' he insists. He also credits stiffer sentencing, not
only as a deterrent to his own criminal activity but as an important factor
in the national reduction in urban crime. As he acknowledges, Pedro still faces a
difficult path. He must compensate for years of lost schooling, and resist
the temptation to revert to the ways of his youth. But he is a changed
person, who fully comprehends the errors of those ways. I think he's going to make it. |